A Conversation with the Boss at 5:26 on a Friday Afternoon

This poem was written for our October Pub Poetry group at The Barking Dog. The theme I followed for this month was 'amateur hour'. It was not an easy poem to write, I wanted to make sure the language in it was humorous, and not simply offensive (but, yes, it is offensive - sorry Mum, if you're reading this!)

I hope you enjoy it, and - honestly - if you're offended by foul language, please do skip on and read something else instead!


A Conversation with the Boss at 5:26 on a Friday Afternoon


Are you shitting me? You absolute tool!


Do you think this is amateur hour?

 

         You've made me look a fucking fool! 

         Shit a brick, you should be back in school- 

         Stop snivelling! You think I'm being cruel? 


You're such a Pwecious Lickle Flower!





I can't believe the mess you've made;


Fuck knows how I'll clean this up!


         Yes, you ought to be afraid;  

          I'll have you fired! And fucking flayed! 

         Just how much do you get paid?


You've really fucked up, buttercup!





I'm not a man you should have crossed!


You are a wanking waste of space!


         If you had brains, I'd have them washed!

         I can't begin to count the cost, 

         There's a twat-load hours of work you've lost-


-oh wait, I've found it in my case.

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