Social Media Influenza

 Social Media Influenza 


Reality is virtual. The physical is cursed.

I want my money back, can I please be reimbursed?

Humanity’s a mess and it cannot get much worse; 

Everything is better in the metaverse.


Put it up on Facebook for likes and shares;

Solving all our problems with ten thousand thoughts and prayers.

X is a dumpster-fire but no one really cares;

Gotta get a retweet from some nazi billionaires.


Tagging you all here as my 54 best mates.

If you each tag 20 friends then our reach now will be great!

A ‘like’ is pretty good, but what’s better is the hate;

this is gonna make the most fucking A click-bait!


Oh wow, I love your image it's so totally my vibe! 

I’ve got to take a photo, as my words could not describe.

I’ll share it to my Insta and I’ll hashtag it #mytribe.

I hope you love mine too? Like and subscribe!


Have you seen this? It's so hawt, it’s the newest, latest trend!

You’re not an influencer so you might not understand.

I’ve a scheduled post on LinkedIn to build up my personal brand.

On a scale to 10, how likely are you to recommend me to a friend?


You know I'm not just doing this so I get a clap-back;

I've got eyes to monetise; I need to make some cash back!

I’m looking for a payout, my focus is the Nasdaq.

Is anyone who's anyone still using Snapchat?


Gotta keep on hustling; know how to make a quick buck;

End this poem strong, with a ‘boom!’ and then a mic drop.

Post some stories to my feed then maybe they’ll get picked up?

And failing that I’ll set them to a stupid dance on TikTok.


I hate this version of the world and what it’s making me.

I don’t ‘consume’ YouTube; I just wanna watch TV.

I don’t know how to fix this shit; I’ll ask ChatGPT.

I’m holding out for when we can just Simply Be…

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

On Unity and The Primates

Image
This sermon was preached during the Week of Prayer for Christian Unity , and in the aftermath of the primate's statement on The Episcopal Church . It was given at an Evensong service on 24th January. About 10 years ago, a website called The Ship of Fools held a poll to find the world's best religious joke . The winner was one written by the American comedian, Emo Philips: Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"  He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Bapti...
Read more

Things I Have Regretted

This poem was written for our monthly church poetry group. The theme was 'Regret'. I hope you enjoy reading it! Things I have Regretted  The promises I've broken; The promises that were wrong; The times I should have spoken; The times I should have held my tongue. The follies of my youth; The reserve that comes with time; The times when I have told the truth  when a lie would have been more kind.  Foolish ways I spent my money; Trying too hard to be cool; The jokes I thought were funny  when really they were cruel. The times I should have had more grace; Times I should have taken stands; The times I tried hard to save face  when I should have held up my hands. The times I should have gone to bed; The times I should have not; The times the things that were in my head  were better I forgot. The window glass; the help not lent; That extra glass of wine; The words I said and that I meant; Believing I had time. The late night kiss that never was; The flight I ne...
Read more

The Tale of the Cheating Servant

Image
This story was given in place of a sermon at our 10:15 service on Sunday 22nd September. The gospel that day was Luke 16:1-13 , a particularly tricky parable of Christ's in which he commends a cheating manager for looking out for his own future. Lots of very learned people have written lots of clever stuff about the passage, and the one thing that people agree on is that it is just very hard to understand! In the past few weeks, I've read lots about it, and tied my thoughts up in knots! One piece I read compared the parable to a particular trope in Roman comedy, in which a cunning servant tricks his master, and everything works out fine in the end (think Frankie Howerd in ' Up Pompeii ').  There does seem to be a similarity, and that got me wondering whether the parable might actually have been based on a play that Christ saw. I then (in turn) reimagined that as a real-life situation that Christ happened to come across, and... well, the result is below. I hope that f...
Read more